Dancing with a Rattlesnake

I have decided that showering at the hospital is like dancing with a rattlesnake. 

The shower rooms at the Leduc Hospital leave very much to be desired. If you dare, picture this : 

1’st you are wheeled through your unit across the main corridors by the public elevators and into another unit wearing just your Johnny shirt and your lap stacked with supplies: towels, face cloths, etc 

Then you enter a dimly lit, all cement room that is wall on one side and 4 old stalls on other. They are separated by metal walls like the old schools swimming pool change rooms. Three of these stalls are filled with junk, ie. old crutches, pieces of wheel chairs ,slings etc. In the first stall perched amongst the junk was a nurse doing her charting ,eating her lunch, said she was hiding so she could get a break and get her work done.

The fourth stall is the “shower stall”. It is 3 sides of cement, or maybe only tile – I was too shocked to notice every detail. However, I did notice the janitors metal bucket and mop which the nurse discreetly tried to hide out of the way. There may have been a hopper in this stall as well. A hopper is like a big sink to discard urine and dirty water in. There was a small plastic bench to sit on with your back to the wall facing out to the hallway. There were no curtains so anyone wandering into this little hallway of horrors could see you . No shelf for your shampoo or body wash – that, you sat on the floor and then ever so cautiously you would lean over to pick it up, praying you would not tumble off the little plastic bench. The face cloths could better be described as Brillo pads. Great for exfoliating, not so nice for a simple shower. 

And finally – the rattlesnake! The hose was a twisted tight ball of metal with a curved head on it, covered with calcium build up. When you picked it up as soon as the water started to run through it it would uncurl itself like a snake and fly about the room soaking all the walls and getting everything wet except the patient! 

I did the best a I could with one hand and told the nurses I was done, she covered my front with a towel as rough as the facecloth and about the size of 2 hand towels sewn together, then tossed a flannel sheet on top of that, then my wet housecoat, shampoo and body wash bottles. She wheeled me back to my room, I am quite sure I could feel a breeze, not sure what the view was like from behind for the people that followed us from the elevator but not likely one they appreciated ! 

If I survive this ordeal I may start a fundraising campaign to renovate the shower rooms. God knows they sure need it. 

Final note : I will do sponge baths in my room going forward. No more dancing with the rattlesnake for me! 

Thanks for reading