‘Feb 11 2022 ’prepare for a cancer diagnosis’
Those are the words my GP said to me as my colonoscopy was looming just days ahead . I remember feeling stunned and not sure what that could possibly mean . I did what everyone tells you not to do and that was to visit ‘Dr Google’ . He did not disappoint ,there was an abundance of information there . I learned about tumour types,stages,spreads, tx all you can imagine but nothing about preparing yourself.I wondered what exactly did that mean ? Should I update my old will, start putting names on my prized posessions to leave to people, clean my purse and drawers ? I just wasn’t sure . Should I start to write letters to leave to kids and Grandkids to be read on special days to come like graduations and weddings? Should I start to make lists for Ken on what needs to be done and where things were ? With a hemoglobin of 70 all of that seemed too daunting to even imagine doing. I was so exhausted I had to get dressed sitting down and was limiting fluids so I didn’t have to get up to pee. So in the end I did nothing to prepare myself , I decided to wing it , to go with the flow ,to let ‘Jesus take the wheel ‘ as Carrie Underwood so eloquently put it .
Hindsight In hindsight I should have probably known better. I had really been exhausted most of the fall. I found every excuse I could to explain it away , I was managing an almost 200 bed long term care facility through a pandemic, I had 3 Grandkids living with us , I was 63 years old , my Dad and Ken’s Dad had both recently passed away , we had driven across Canada to attend my Dads service (Ken could not fly due to recent retinal detachment and I am a nervous flyer) . Lots of reason to be tired I told myself but not cancer. Finally in late Dec I had blood work done through a medical clinic as I did not have a GP and it showed a very low hemoglobin . I found a GP and she booked an urgent colonoscopy and my journey had begun .
